Trust Me
by freewilledcas
Summary: Crowley finds it hard to trust anyone because everyone he's ever trusted betrayed him and furthermore he can't even trust himself. Reader tries to make him believe otherwise.


Even Sam and Dean could notice how you and Crowley would look at each other–" _longingly_ ", as Sam would put it. ' _Oh put a sock in it Sam._ ', you'd reply, trying to dismiss the thought but deep inside, you knew that you're feeling something for the King of Hell, you just didn't want to make a move, not until you're sure.

You did not want to rush things. You've suffered far too many heartaches before and you knew you need to take caution. You actually promised yourself not to be taken aback by any of these emotional kind of attachments but then Crowley waltzes in and all the walls you put up came crashing down.

You're still second-guessing things. He is a demon after all but then, a part of him has been quite familiar with the essence of humanity. Right now, you're just happy, though pining for a bit, as you ask yourself if he feels the same way or not. You did notice that he would always gravitate towards you when he's around. He would also be the first one to run by your side if you have gotten hurt, or even when you just seem to be. ' _Are you alright Y/N?_ ', Crowley would ask. ' _I'm fine, thanks for asking._ ', you'd reply as he helps you up on your feet.

Things may look good but you did not want to keep your hopes up. You have always kept your hopes up before and you always end up getting hurt. You're tired of it. You promised that you'll always keep your expectations low so you won't get hurt. Well, it still does hurt a bit, a bittersweet kind of pain. You wish that somehow, maybe Crowley is different from all the other you have loved and lost, maybe he'll give it a chance, maybe he'll be the one to make you feel what it's like to be loved back, maybe, _just maybe_.

You were out on a case involving murderous vampires with Sam and Dean. Crowley tagged along because apparently, these vampires are working with demons.

' _You two wait out here, watch out for strays. Sam and I will go survey their nest._ ', Dean declared as he grabbed his bag from the trunk.

' _Oh C'mon Dean, let me at least join you._ ', you protested.

' _We're just going to have a look and see how big the nest is, Y/N._ ', Sam replied.

' _Don't worry Y/N, we won't start the party without you. Now you kids have fun._ ', Dean teased as they headed out into the woods.

' _Ugh, seriously Dean?_ ', you said, rolling your eyes.

' _Don't do anything I wouldn't do!_ ', Dean hollered.

You leaned on the Impala, hiding under the impression that you are getting impatient, when in truth, you're giddy at the thought of being alone with Crowley. You like him and you wish that telling him is easy. You're trying to fight off the urge to tell him because you're tired of getting hurt.

' _You've gone awfully quiet, Y/N, is something wrong?_ ', Crowley remarked as moved beside you and leaned on the Impala.

' _Nothing._ ', you replied.

He looked at you, studying you closely.

His eyes on yours… you just couldn't handle it. You looked away, hoping that he didn't see you blush.

Then his hand found yours. You looked at him, a confused look in your eyes.

' _I know this isn't the right time to say this but…_ ', he started, holding your gaze with his as his thumb grazed over the back of your hand.

You bit your lip in anticipation.

You were disappointed when he let go of your hand abruptly.

' _Well that was a bust._ ', Dean announced as you saw him appear between the trees.

' _The place is empty, looks like they left just hours ago._ ', Sam added.

–

Crowley said he had business in Hell to take care off and he was gone in a blink of an eye. He didn't even look at your direction before leaving.

The drive back to the bunker was quiet, disappointment hanging over everyone.

Days later, you've finally managed to take down the nest of vampires, but still, no word from Crowley.

For days, you've pondered on what he was going to say. Your heart yearned to hear his voice again.

You've called him, every day, for two weeks now but still, he doesn't call back. You thought that maybe he doesn't really care for you like he has let you feel before, maybe you're just another damn hunter to him, maybe you're just like any other girl he's met, maybe you're nothing to him.

Every thought going through your mind, it was like driving daggers to your heart. Any second longer of such agony would destroy you. So you decided to take action. Screw him if he doesn't like you back. You just wanted to know how he feels. You're tired of just making assumptions. You're tired of shying away from rejection. The pain from hiding is even worse.

So what, if he doesn't see you as you see him, at least, when you know the truth, you'd find it easier to move on.

Sam and Dean are out on a case with an old family friend so you decided to let them have some privacy. You walked around the bunker's library, dialing Crowley's number on your phone, still hoping that he'll have the decency to answer. You tossed your phone on the table when his voicemail picked up.

Frustrated, you decided it's time to take great measures.

You decided against summoning him, you wanted to at least be civilized, so you decided to pay him a visit in Hell.

You are a frequent visitor of the King of Hell, that is, until he stopped talking to you weeks ago. You would often head to Crowley's personal library where you would pore over his ancient collections. When you were still a hunter-in-training under Dean and Sam, they would often leave you out when they've got gigs of their own and that bummed you a lot. But Crowley would often take you to his dungeons and he'd personally train you in fighting all sorts of creatures. Afterwards, Crowley would take you out for a treat, it could be dinner, movies, or even just a stroll in the park. At first, you questioned his intentions but soon enough, he made it clear that he just enjoys your company. ' _You're a good change compared to those flannel-wearing monkeys._ ' is how he had put it.

Over time, you'd gotten to learn about him and his past and you did open up to him soon enough. Then you found yourself slowly falling for this man, he may be a demon, but he sure has more than enough humanity in him than any man you've ever met. That's the reason why you're currently making your way into Hell. How he's acting right now is much unlike him, you know him well enough to know that something's not right.

You opened the door to his throne room and surprisingly, he's not there. You went around the back to where his office is and there, you found him sitting behind his deck, a drink in his hand, looking at a distance.

' _Crowley?_ ', you said softly

Crowley stood up, quite startled, almost dropping his glass.

' _Y/N, what brings you here?_ ', he responds as soon as he regains his composure.

' _Well, it's been weeks.. I've been trying to call you but you never answered.._ '

' _Sorry darling, I've just been busy here._ ', he explained, motioning at his desk full of papers.

' _I know you. Something's wrong._ ', you mentioned, looking at him closely.

He looked at you dejectedly. He knew that there's no use in denying it.

' _What was it that you wanted to tell me?_ ', you continued.

' _It's – It's nothing, don't put much thought to it darling._ ', he replied, taking a sip from his glass.

' _Oh, I see. Well, I guess I don't want to disturb you anymore.._ ' you turned to leave the room, not wishing to push things further.

Crowley stood there, mouth open, but no words came out.

You opened the door out when you turned abruptly to face him. You decided that there's no better time to say _it_ than now.

' _Well, I've got something to say._ ', you confessed.

 _'I'm tired of second-guessing things so I'm just gonna say it._ ', you voiced.

Crowley placed his glass on the table and watched you expectantly.

 _'I like you._ ', you proclaimed. Your heart is pumping fast as you came into realizing that you've finally said it. Crowley stood there quietly and his silence made you nervous.

' _I just want you to know. I hope this doesn't make things awkward. I just want to know if you do feel the same way. You don't have to answer right now but I'll definitely be fine if you don't like me back. I just need to know what you think because–_ ',

' _Y/N.._ ', Crowley interrupted.

You looked up at him.

' _Listen, love. Back then, I wanted to tell you that I like you._ ', Crowley confided.

You didn't say anything. You knew there was a 'but' coming afterwards.

' _But I can't._ ', Crowley continued.

It took you a moment to grasp what he just said. You have so many questions running through your mind and you needed answers.

' _What do you mean you can't? Don't you trust me? Don't you believe in me?_ ', you asked, a bit teary-eyed. You're overwhelmed by what you're feeling.

' _Don't say that Y/N._ ' Crowley replied soothingly.

' _I'm sorry, I just don't get why you can't trust me. Is it because I'm a hunter?_ ' you responded, anger evident in your voice.

Crowley looked down, avoiding your gaze.

You looked at him anxiously when he looked back at you.

' _I can't trust you Y/N. Everyone I've ever trusted betrayed me. They all ratted me out and turned on me!_ ', Crowley announced, raising his voice.

' _You don't think I'm different from them then? You don't want to give me a chance?_ ', you replied, tears falling down your cheeks.

Crowley did not say anything.

' _Well, for a change, I thought you were different._ ', you added as you wiped the tears off your face and proceeded to leave.

' _Above all.. I don't trust myself._ ', Crowley admitted as you had your back on him.

You turned around to look at him.

' _I've always used people, manipulated them into doing what I want. I just– I just don't want to hurt you._ ', Crowley continued.

You walked towards him slowly.

' _I tried so hard to stay away from you because I might go manipulative on you. I was thinking that maybe what I feel will go away if I keep my distance._ '

' _Crowley…_ ', you said softly.

' _You won't hurt me, I believe in you._ ', you assured as you moved closer to him.

' _After all this time we've known each other, you've never hurt me in any way. In fact, you did nothing but watch over me._ ', you stated.

' _Haven't hurt you.. yet_.', Crowley interjected.

' _No, you won't. I believe in you. Please trust me on this one._ ', you protested.

He did not say a word.

The silence hung over your heart painfully.

You have always known that he's different, you just needed him to trust you.

' _I believe in you, love._ ', Crowley said, looking deep into your eyes as his hand cupped your face, his thumb caressing your cheek.


End file.
